Time Too Let Go Part 1

Wow, I realize I have not written a very long time but feel I need to start writing again as I have know one to vent to. Life over the last couple months has been very rough with work and home life. I feel like day to day pressures are starting to mount up and they are not looking good. I have no way to release the pain and hurt that is bottled up inside me. I try to release some of the stress by going back to my room and doing eBay but seems like that is only masking the problems that I have in my life. The top three problems in my life and the ones that hurt me the most are:

· My Wife ( She has depression really bad but believe God will pull her out of it)

· In Laws (What can I say about this)

· Church division between me and my wife

I feel like I haven’t had my wife for three years since the big fight between her parents and I. Then to top it off we left our church that we was in for 12 years, this started when our senior Pastor and staff were fired by the Apostle of the church but the main reason we left is that I was accused of something that I never did. My wife has bad depression and I am just praying that somehow and somewhere God will heal her.

Second my In Laws, what can I say about this is that they are always in our business; I have asked to let me be the husband and the father of my wife and children but for some reason they just don’t get it. I tried to tell my wife that we are one but doesn’t help.

For now I must close as work calls more on this later.

Decisions and Choices

Well its been some time since I last blogged so I thought I would write some. I am struggling through some tough decisions in the last week, I was off the week of Thanksgiving and enjoyed my time off but since I have been back at work I just feel like I dont belong. I feel like I am not being used in the way I was hired. I have thought maybe its time to leave and look for something that will make me happy. I have an opportunity if the weather holds out to visit my family in Iowa and know if I did I could find something there. My family is okay with us moving as it would do us good to be away from in-laws. Well more later

Starting Over and Learning

Wow cant believe its been almost a month since I last written where does the  time go. To all of you that read  my blogs, I am ok. I was going thru some depression but am a lot better now. I am happy again and love the way I feel. Life is Good and God Is Great. Its amazing how Gods timing is so perfect to bring what you been missing back into your life.

 

I have a close friend that is going thru a lot now in life dealing with some problems and I was thinking since this morning (as some of you know I am a early riser) on what I would say to this person or anyone that has problems in life whatever it may be it  and that is  ~ START OVER and EXAMINE YOUR LIFE ~
We all make mistakes in life but we have to realize that we learn from our mistakes and need to step back in time for a moment and say to ourselves this one question “When was I the most happiest?”

Life is full of ups and downs but like everything in life we must go on. We cant sit and dwell about the past and the mistakes we made we must learn from then and move on.  I admit it there are people in this world that pretend to like someone or something for money or whatever to me those are not true friends.  True Friends to me are people that are there for you thru thick n thin, friends that will come to pick you up when you are sick or just listen to problems about what is going on in life, they will be there when your kids are sick to check on them and help someone down that is hurting.

This particular friend of mine was away for awhile and I have not talked to this person for some time but this person asked for forgiveness. I forgave this person not because of the mistakes they made or other things but because I am a true friend. It took another friend to shake this person up to realize things. Sometime a little shaking is good to help us get back on track. I think that we all need to be a  piece of chicken in a shake n back bag and shaken once in awhile to get us straight and coated right with our self. I myself for instance have traveled down some rocky roads in the past and made many mistakes but to be honest I learned from them and moved on. Was it hard heck yeah it was hard and I actually had to end so called friendships with folks to move on.  Sometimes a friend will act like a friend but in reality they don’t want to be a friend they want what you have not friendship. When you have those kinds of friends its time to cut them loose and seize communication with them all together. Eventually they will come to there senses and realize they can not use someone they will realize they need to be a friend first and foremost.

My friend told me that how can I forgive so easy and trust again, its easy to trust and forgive when you see something good in a person, now don’t get me wrong we all have good in us. But my friend/family has done so much for me and ours and never once asked for a thing in return to me that is a TRUE FRIEND and YES I CAN FORGIVE. Yes this person was lost and reverted back to old ways and they tell me its hard to go back to they way they were but its not and that goes to anyone that has taken a left turn down the wrong road there is always a right road somewhere and just make the turn. For example I have taken lots of wrong turns in the past but always make the right turn thru a little shaken from friends.  Life is about choices and decisions and we must make the right ones. If you feel like a rock is got you covered up and you don’t try to push it off and get rid of it then you will be stuck but if you push it off and get out of it hole then your not stuck. Say for example that the rock covering you up is a problem or a so called friend, if you continue to let that rock keep you covered then your stuck but if you get the strength up to say I am not going to let this rock keep me in this hole forever and get up and move it and toss it away then you are back on the path you need to be. Don’t let the rock be your way not to get out of the hole your in instead move the rock and bury it.

I found out from a friend in the Army along time ago and I have done this recently is sometimes the best thing in life is to sit and right your problems down on paper. This writing could be a letter to someone or just your problems in general. Recently I wrote  a letter to my father who I have met only once to tell him how I felt. This was a hole I was in with trying to deal with the pain he put me thru but I got out of the hole by writing the letter. Sometimes we just need to do this and move on with life. Your heart will always lead you back on the right path no matter what and if you are truly a good friend and you ask another friend to forgive you and they do then guess what they are truly a best friend. Life is not all bed n roses but we must all deal with problems in our own way, thru friends and god you will get thru it.

 

Mistake is defined as a wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention

 

Learning is defined as the cognitive process of acquiring skill or knowledge

 

Forgiveness is defined as compassionate feelings that support a willingness to forgive

I seen this article below and thought it was great too:

A Definition of Forgiveness That We Can All Live With
Forgiveness. It's such a hard thing to do, but it can be so liberating to the soul. What makes it difficult for most of us to do is the way we define it. We think of forgiveness as meaning that we should say all is forgotten and things will go back to what they were. This Biblical definition of forgiveness is very hard for most of us to swallow. How can you forget the unforgettable? How can you forgive the unforgivable? To enjoy the benefits of forgiveness, however, we needn't go that far. All that's really required is that we make the decision to move forward, to let go of the old hurts. We don't have to condone what's been done. What's wrong is still wrong. We don't have to invite the person back into our lives or even be friendly with them. What we do have to do is allow ourselves to release all the negative emotions associated with that person. As long as we hold onto the pain, we are choosing to allow that person's past actions to continue to hurt us. We can also choose to stop letting them hurt us. That's a definition of forgiveness that's more doable for those of us who are less than saintly.

 

Love is defined a strong positive emotion of regard and affection

Biblical definition of love: 1 Corithians
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things.

 

-Steps to move on with life are simply -

1.       Admit you made a mistake/bad judgment

2.       Learn from the mistake

3.       Ask for forgiveness

4.       Learn to love life again

 

Yes this wont be easy and sometimes you have to get take the trash (bad friends (just pray for them that they will learn), mistakes, problems, etc) to the curb but remember what is waiting for you in the trashcan when you get back in the house a fresh new empty bag to start over with no junk/trash in it.

 

To My Friend

I do forgive you and want you to know that life will get better. I have know you for so long and you have always been there for me and my family. Forget the mistakes you made and move on and start over. Life is more important than the mistakes you made, move on and pray and I will pray along with you. Its not going to be easy to let go but you can do it.  Remember you have to really close friends to help you out. You can be the chicken and we will be the Shaken N Bake Shaking you a little.

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY—“MAKE THE MOST OF WHAT YOU HAVE , LEARN FROM THE PAST AND LOVE THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU”

 

Nothing New

Nothing new has changed with my spouses family. Like today out of the blue my cell phone rings and guess who it was yep my sister in law not calling to say Hi or how are you but to ask can you do something for me. I felt like SAYING NO but I didn’t.  I am so tired if of being used by family and friends. Its like I wrote the other day that people are not to be used for material things but should be used for listening and asking how is your day/week.

 

Well this is a short blog today may not write for a couple of days. But will be back

 

 

Life In General

Well life is life and its what you make of it. I had a friend today lose someone by suicide they cared about lot and I can tell its really affecting her. I wish I could say something to ease her mind but I have been there with my brother in law. All you can do is mourn and lean on your friends.  When I have been down in the dumps I know this person always cheered me up by hugs and she always has smile but today was not a smiling day. I wanted to tell her life will go on and that he would not want her to mourn but continue on with life. Why do people take there life for. I personally think that they are so bottled up inside from stress and problems that no one will listen. I think this is why my brother in law hung himself.

 

Lately I have been thinking that sometimes its would be an easy way out for me with all the stress I am going thru. I used to have a close friend that would always know when I was upset but  that person is not there for me anymore. Not sure what I did to cause this person to stop talking to me but I must go on. I wish that sometimes I was in another world where there was no pain or hurt but I know that someday I will see the heaven world and sit by Jesus and say “Father what have I done”.  I loved and still love my close friend to death and I hope they know it. I never meant to cause this person any pain or do anything to hurt them but I must have. I know in my heart that this person will always be a part of my life as well as their family.

 

If you are reading this Cherish your Family and Friends be there for them not for material things but for love and a caring ear or shoulder to lean on. Friends are to Precious to take advantage of so just love them for who they are. If you stop talking to them at least forgive them because you don’t know what tomorrow may bring. Love and forgive them for their mistakes and please don’t let things ruin the friendship you have.

 

 

Never Quit

DON'T QUIT!!!When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low, and the debts are high, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Success is failure turned upside down, The silver tint of clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far, So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It’s when things seem worse, that you must not quit!!!!!!

Jesus, bless my Friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day.

Family & Friends

Why does life seem to hurt so much that sometimes people feel like ending it. I mean you think you got the best friends and family in the world and they are good to you for only one thing when they need something. Now don't get me wrong there are only about 2 selective friends/family actually after thinking about only 1 person that does not ask for anything but has always been there for us. Actually this person would take the last penny they have and give it and not ask for anything in return, why cant more people in this world be like the above person. Friends/Family should be friends and love each other for friendship. Friends /Family should not be used for material things but should be used for listening., love and compassion. This person which I have only known for awhile has helped me out so much in tight binds and would go to bat for me as well as I would go to bat for this persons family as well. Do you want to know what a true friend really is, just keep reading. Ponder this when you think of your friends and what they mean to you and what would you do for them. Does Jesus ask for material things from you NO all he wants is your love just like your friends. The above person sets a very good expample of what a FRIEND is and that is always there for you no matter what time or day. Last year I lost my brother in law to suicide because NO one would listen to his pain inside all they wanted was things from him from where he worked and what he could get. They never stopped to ask hey how are you or hey do you need help no they just wanted things. I was guilty of this as well but this week while on vacation I have had alot of time to ponder my path in life and the mistakes I have made. There are some mistakes (and I would not call them mistakes ) I will never regret or want to forget. Life is more than wanting things its about talking, caring. loving and listening to what other people want. You need to cherish your friends/family you have and love them. Now don't get me wrong when your friends/family act like they are back in High School and want to talk about you and rumor about you, then let them go and just pray for them. Thats all you can do is pray and move on. Mind you I don't have alot of friends (actually 2 or 3 but one I talk to more than the rest), yes I have co-workers, family and so on but they have their little clicks which I know it but I cant change. I am who I am. To my one friend and this person knows who they are. I want to Thank You so much for everything you and your family has done for me/us. I love you for who you are and keep being you. Yes I love my other friends too but I know this particular friend would give there last breathe/food/money to help a person out. Life is what you make so make it the best you can. Friends come and Friend go but always try to hold on the ones that mean the most and pray for the others. Listen and Love them because the hurt they feel may come to end without notice. (no I am not going to do something stupid) I just want people to know what a true friend is beside Jesus